Late Mergers Suck

I have been the proud owner of a driver's license for 48 years now.   Over the years I have developed a deep and abiding disdain for drivers who won't move over into the open lane with the rest of us and who instead try to run all the way up to the front and weasel their way into the line.   Makes me furious every time.    I admit it.    Near road rage levels of antagonism wash over my body as I helplessly watch some gullible yutz up ahead wave the offender into the front of the line.    A few years ago there were a number of letters to the editor in the Kansas City Star alternately condemning and defending this behavior.   I learned that these miscreants actually have a scientific name:   late mergers.   

There are late mergers in all areas of life.   I once successfully kept a late merger out of my college fraternity for a couple of years.    After standing in line to register for classes for over an hour in order to be up front and thus optimize my chances of getting my preferred classes, the late merger strolled up five minutes before the doors opened, casually smoking a cigarette and acting like he was supposed to be in the front of the line.   As soon as the doors opened, he waltzed right in.   Ahead of me.   It truly gratified me to drop all those black balls into the jar at the frat house.   Eventually I had to miss a rush week meeting and his friends took advantage of my absence and voted him into the brotherhood.   I doubt that Brother Late Merger ever knew why it took him so long to get into the fraternity.   I'll bet he still tries to drive all the way up to the front when he finds his lane of traffic closing up ahead.   Fie on late mergers.    Late mergers suck!