Governor Rick Perry had finally been able to fall asleep in his bed at the Peoria Hilton. Christmas Eve of 2011 had proven to be quite eventful. He had taken a trip back millions of years in time with the spirit of Charles Darwin. He had played poker with some of the most noted industrialists of the 20th Century. He had argued climate science with the ghost of Theodore Roosevelt and a spectral polar bear. And he had come out of these experiences with all of his cherished principles and beliefs intact. Soon he had been sound asleep.
Shortly before dawn, Governor Perry was awakened by the clanking of more chains. "What's with the chains?" he said out loud to no one in particular. Rubbing his eyes, he saw a swarthy, middle aged man in a dark business suit seated in a chair beside the bed. The man was dapper, neat and well groomed. Smiling, the man held up his hands to reveal that he was wearing handcuffs. Lifting a leg, the smiling man showed off leg irons and chains. "What the hell," Perry thought, "actual chains this time." "Okay, now I remember," exclaimed Governor Perry, "you're Jacob Marley, Ebenezer Scrooge's old partner." "You're wearing the chains you forged in life." "No," said the man, chuckling, "at least I'm not Jacob Marley." "Then who are you?" asked Governor Perry. "Why, I thought for sure that you would know me," said the swarthy man. "You've invoked my name quite a bit of late." "I'm the ghost of Charles Ponzi."
Governor Perry and the ghost of Charles Ponzi argued about Social Security until dawn. Ponzi pointed out the differences between his fraudulent scheme and Social Security and they were substantial and many. Governor Perry thought that Ponzi's arguments were somewhat transparent, as, after all, was Ponzi. Finally, exasperated with Governor Perry's intransigence on the subject, Ponzi decided to transport the two of them into the future. Numerous poignant scenes of his grandchildren destitute in future times failed to convince Governor Perry of the lack of merit of personal investment accounts, as promoted by his fellow Texan, former President George W. Bush.
Ponzi was one of the foremost con men of the Twentieth Century but he simply could not con Governor Perry, who knew a Ponzi scheme when he saw one. Although the two could not agree, they somehow forged a strange bond as the night wore on. Shortly after dawn they reached an agreement. Ponzi would relent from trying to convince Governor Perry that Social Security was not in fact a Ponzi scheme. And Ponzi would sign on as Perry's new Campaign Finance Director. He would take money from unsuspecting people by promising them great gains in the future, which they would never actually receive. Campaign Finance Director was right up Ponzi's alley. Governor Perry was successful in getting the Reverend Pat Robertson to secure Ponzi's temporary parole from you know where for the duration of the campaign. Now that he was engaged in politics, Ponzi did what politicians often do and flip-flopped on the question of whether Social Security was a Ponzi scheme. He was then often heard to support Governor Perry's argument that Social Security was in fact such a scheme. And, after all, who would know that better than Ponzi?*
*Note. After Governor Perry lost the Republican nomination to Rep. Michele Bachmann, Ponzi was able to transition over to working for Pat Robertson's television ministry. Ponzi's basic duties in this role continued on unchanged.
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