A Modern Christmas Carol, Spirit Number 2

The ghost of Colonel Theodore Roosevelt had spent most of the night trying to convince Texas Governor Rick Perry that the Republican Party could include progressive ideas and reasonable, thinking people.   Colonel Roosevelt, a noted conservationist who as President had created the idea of national parks, had finally given up and set out on his horse for a celestial breakfast meeting with his long-time friend, the spirit of famed naturalist John Muir.   Muir had urged Roosevelt to appear to Governor Perry and to try to convince him that global warming is a real threat to the modern world.   Colonel Roosevelt, himself a well-respected scholar and naturalist, had presented Governor Perry with evidence that 97% of 21st Century climate scientists concur that global warming is real and that humans have substantially contributed to the problem.   A stubborn Governor Perry had continued to insist that global warming is only an unproven theory and that scientists are coming out every day and questioning the validity of global warming theories.   Roosevelt had even brought along a spectral polar bear who gave first person testimony to Governor Perry that the polar ice cap is rapidly melting away.   Governor Perry pointed out that he had learned in 8th grade that the Earth has always undergone substantial swings in temperature.   Colonel Roosevelt and the polar bear tried to explain to Governor Perry that those shifts had occurred over centuries of time wherein the Earth had plenty of time to adjust to drastic swings in temperature.  Governor Perry had finally stuck his fingers in his ears and refused to hear any more.   Finally, realizing that Roosevelt and the polar bear were about to leave him, Governor Perry presented each of them with an autographed photo of himself and an Exxon Mobil tee shirt, supplied to him by . . . . er . . .  friends.   In a gesture of conciliation, Governor Perry promised to use a more energy efficient blow dryer.   Understanding just how much electricity this might save, Colonel Roosevelt and the polar bear left with at least some small sense of accomplishment.